Ending...

Jan. 28th, 2009 11:47 am
ailsa_chan: (Default)
[personal profile] ailsa_chan
Well, I’ve finally finished my story, and by finished I mean I have written the end, so it’s not actually complete, but it’s a start. I originally set up my lj as somewhere to put story updates to encourage me to write. Didn’t work to well, as the last time I updated was summer last year. So, anyway, here is the final piece, and a short coda. I will admit I did cry a bit: it’s one thing to know how a story ends; it’s another to write it. I’d really appreciated it if as many people as possible could read it, even if you haven’t read the rest of it, just to let me know what you think of my style etc.







The path lead down to flat plateau and the ruins of an ancient city. Made largely of white marble, the fallen masonry looked like the skeleton of some massive creature. The Red Prince lead them towards an open area, whose floor was covered in mosaics in strange and alien designs. It took a moment for them to realise that they were not alone. All around them were ghostly shapes, that faded in and out of view. They called in an incomprehensible tongue, reaching out with ethereal hands that passed through their flesh.



Up ahead, standing by a fallen marble pillar, was a different sort of creature. This one was still solid, but his body was clearly dead. Half of his face had sloughed away, revealing his jaw, so he had a perpetual, if horrific smile. Beneath his rotting clothes, his body was wizened, wasted where there was flesh and skeletal where there was none. This then was the last Sithi, waiting patiently to perform his duty.



The Red Prince turned the guards and bade them wait here. Then he took Summer and walked down towards the Sithi warrior. He seemed to have forgotten Zephyr and Amari entirely.



“What do we do?” Amari demanded. “We've got to stop him.”



“How? If we try to stop the old man, that big guy is going to stop us. We'll never get Summer and get out of the darkness before he can catch up with us.”



“We can't have come this far to give up. There has to be something.”



Zephyr closed his eyes, struggling to remember anything useful. He thought back to what the Red Prince had told him in the castle, before he had finished the blood tattoo and suddenly he had the answer.



“I know what to do!” He stood up quickly and looked down at her, eyes shining. Amari said nothing, but stared back in confusion. “You remember the song you were singing, the first time it started snowing?”



She nodded. “The prayer for a lost child. What about it?”



“We have to sing it. Now.”



“What? How is that going to help?”



“We have to pray to him.” He was starting to walk down the slope towards the gathered figures. The guards were still immobile, unseeing. None of the figures by the fallen pillar were paying him any attention.



“But Zephyr, we don't know what Summer is. How do we know praying will have any effect.”



“I don't think it matters what he is. The important thing is we believe in him. Come on, Songbird, trust me please. We don't have much time.”



And we don't have a better idea, she thought. She took his proffered hand and side by side they walked down to the assembled Sithi. I can barely believe I'm doing this. Here I am, walking through the darkness, towards the undying Sithi and what may or may not be them embodiment of the sun, and I'm about to sing to them. The whole situation seemed so surreal she was afraid she might start laughing rather than singing when she opened her mouth.



She heard his voice join with hers, not strong but in tune at least. She was wondering what had caused this sudden change in skill when she heard a third voice: Saffron's lilting soprano. Amari thought it must be an effect of the blood magic, when she saw over Zephyr's shoulder, Saffron walking with them. As she turned and saw Jack beside her, his booming bass adding to the chorus, she realised what was happening.



This was an illusion: Zephyr's magic. There were more and more people around them, their voices joined in the same Folk prayer. Here was a young woman with a face full of dimples and freckles; behind her Martin and James from Riverra. Over there a little girl with long dark hair and wide, haunted eyes walked near a frail woman with flaming hair and amethyst eyes. Soon there appeared to be hundreds, all walking forward, bound by the beat. Was this was the church was afraid of? People united by song? Amari had to admit to herself that an army in full song, marching to the same beat would be pretty intimidating.



The Sithi had noticed them now. The faded, translucent figures were wailing, their ethereal hands clamped to the their temples. But this was not enough to drown out the music. The solid, skeletal figure was coming towards them, that mighty great sword held aloft. As he walked, he left a trail of dust, rotting fabric and flakes of necrotic flesh. When he reaches us it's all over, Amari thought. We cannot defeat him. As the terrifying creature bore down on them, she noticed Summer, on his feet now and watching them too.



The Sithi warrior was only a few paces away now, but Amari did not let her voice falter. Even if she could not save Summer, even if all of this was worthless in the end, she would die on her feet and she would die trying. She looked across at Zephyr, and wondered if he too was thinking about their death. His eyes were open and he seemed to be staring past her towards Summer. She followed his gaze and saw something she had not expected – a source of light. Summer's body was glowing, a brilliant and harsh light that pushed back at the insidious darkness. The light was getting blinding and she had to put up her hands to cover her eyes. Suddenly Zephyr broke off his song with a cry and pushed her to the ground, covering her body with his. There was a vivid flash that seared through her eyelids, then silent, choking blackness.



An unpleasant burning sensation in her lungs made Amari realise she was holding her breath. She took a deep breath and, while keeping her eyes tightly shut, she took stock of herself. She was definitely still alive, and apparently uninjured, but there was a weight across her chest.



Zephyr!



She rolled out from underneath him and knelt at his side. He, too appeared to be uninjured, but his face was ashen, and his lips had a dangerously blue tint. Amari felt her heart skip a beat.



“Wake up!” Her voice sounded weak, a paltry timorous thing in the vast oppressive night. “Wake up, damn you!”



There was no sound. Even the wind seemed to have dropped completely. Amari had never felt quite so alone, as if she was the only thing left alone. She dared not look around her, to see if any of the Sithi remained, or Summer, or the red prince. She dared not take her eyes off Zephyr, in case she should look back and find him gone. She was holding her breath again, her chest painfully tight.



There were dark shapes passing in front of her eyes when he took a shaky breath and opened his eyes. Amari felt her body go weak with relief. Zephyr sat up slowly, one hand pressed his temple, but a smile playing on his lips.



“We're alive,” he murmured.



“Seems that way,” she agreed. “Though I wasn't sure about you for a moment there.”



The smile widened. “I guess that was more magic that I've ever done before. I probably shouldn't do that again in a hurry.”



“You won't need to,” she replied, looking around. “We won. All the Sithi are gone.”



He looked around. There was no sign of the fading Sithi ghosts; every one seemed to have vanished. Where the skeletal warrior had last stood was now only a pile of dust and rags, with an ancient and rusty sword sat on the top. He laughed and Amari joined in, her previous fear melted away and replaced by a dizzying sense of elation.



“We did it! We really did it!”



“You did it,” Amari corrected softly. “It was your idea.”



He shook his head. “Couldn't have done it without you Songbird.”



“But how did you know?”



“That it would work? I didn't, not really. I just remembered what the old man said, about Summer being the aspect of what people believed about the Sun and I thought I could use that.”



“Summer!” Amari stood up and looked around. The previous elation had faded to a cold chill. She found the body quickly, a small child slumped against a fallen marble pillar. His face was the same as she remembered, but his hair was a normal, human, mousey brown colour. She felt Zephyr's hand on her shoulder. “I couldn't send him home.”



“I don't know. I think maybe we did, the part that was Summer at least. This poor kid, the host, I don't know if he ever stood a chance.”



She shook her head. “This still doesn't make much sense to me. So the old man took this boy and did something to him, to bind the power of the Sun in a human body and bring it here so the waiting Sithi could gain their freedom.”



“That's the way I understand it,” he agreed. “But what I don't get is if Summer did have the power of the Sun, why he allowed this to happen? I mean, why take the risk that the Sithi might win?”



“Maybe he had to,” Amari said thoughtfully. “Maybe the Sun has no power here on the dark side, normally. So he had to contrive a way to get round that. Maybe the Sithi prophesy was merely a way to ensure that if they ever tried to regain their power, they'd sign their own death sentence.”



Zephyr thought about this for a moment. “That's kind of horrible, don't you think?”



She shrugged. “Maybe.” A movement caught her eye and she turned to the Red Prince climbing to his feet. “What are we going to do about him?”



“We'll have to take him with us, I guess.”



“He might need some persuading.”



The man was looking around him wildly, calling out in a strange language. When he saw the body of the young boy lying near his feet he threw back his head and roared with rage. He picked up the Sithi great sword that was all that remained of the last warrior and began to stride towards them.



“I'll go,” Zephyr said. “He won't hurt me. He can't.”



Amari held him back. “I'm not sure he knows that any more. He looks like a man possessed. No, stay here. It's my turn.”



She took one of the swords from the motionless guards. Without any orders from their master, they were nothing more than puppets. Then she walked resolutely down to meet the Red Prince and her fate.



The man fought like a cornered animal, wildly and without thought. Though the sword in his hand had been made for a creature over seven foot tall he wielded it as if it was made of nothing more than paper. Intimidating as he appeared, Amari realised that his berserker nature was the key to his downfall. He was not fighting with any skill or strategy, just a desire for death. She just had to fend off the blows long enough to get that inevitable opening. To the song of metal on metal, Amari began to dance.



“Amari! No!”



The sound of his voice dragged her back to full conciousness. She had become lost in her dance; acting on well-honed instincts. With sickening horror she realised she had her arm drawn back for the killing blow. If I kill him, I kill Zephyr, she thought. Paralysed by her mistake she saw the great sword coming towards her, but could not force her body to move. Suddenly, she felt a shove and her body hit the floor. The sword flew out of her hand, landing with a metallic clang a short distance away. She looked up and saw a sight that made her blood run cold. Zephyr had pushed her out of the way, but had not been able to avoid the blow himself. The Sithi great sword had run him through.



The Red Prince dropped his weapon and fell to the ground, weeping and gibbering. Amari caught Zephyr as he fell.



“Summer!” She screamed into the darkness. “Where are you! You have to help him!”



“He's gone,” Zephyr whispered. “I think you were right: the Sun has no power here.”



“But you saved him. He can't let you die here after all we've been through.”



Zephyr shook his head. “It's okay, Songbird. I've been thinking, I've been thinking about this for a while now. I've made my peace. It has to be this way. As long as he's alive,” he gestured to the sobbing Red Prince, “then he'll keep trying. It's best that he doesn't get another chance to cause any more damage.”



Amari said nothing, but gripped his hand as if she could hold his spirit in place by shear force of will.



“Songbird? Before I go, I want you to promise me something.”



“Anything.”



“No, you have to promise me. I need your word on it.”



Her expression darkened. “Very well. By name and by kin, and with the sky as my witness, I swear to do this thing you ask of me.”



She was angry, he thought. That was a powerful promise, a swear that should not be needed between two people who shared what they had. But it was necessary, and if she was angry now...



“Zephyr? What is it? What do you want me to do?”



“Live.”



That single word with all it's meaning took a moment to sink in.



“What? Wh-what do you mean?” Amari stammered, though she knew in her heart.



“I want you to live, Songbird. Live out your full life. I know you, know what you're thinking. You think I'm gone; the Folk have moved on; that there's nothing left for you. You're planning to fall on your sword. Well, I won't have it. I didn't save the world for it to go on without you. I want you to travel, fall in love again, have little heathen babies. Live.”



“You can't ask that of me,” she murmured. “What if I hate you because of it?”



“That's okay. You have to be alive to hate.”



“I can't accept this. All my adult life I've been searching for something: a place I could call home. Somewhere I belonged, that I could be myself. I finally realise that it wasn't a place I was needed, but a person. And now you're leaving me again.”



“We found each other before. We'll see each other again. Promise.”



“Promise.” She closed her eyes, blinking out the burning tears. When she opened them again, he was dead.



How long she spent cradling his body against hers, she could not tell. The torches had long gone out, but she found she was not afraid any more. She felt hollow, an empty shell of her former self. Eventually she dried her eyes and stood up. She laid the body of the boy who had once been Summer at Zephyr's side and began her death-song. Her wordless, passionate grief wound through the ruins of the Sithi city, over the dark plains and out to the stars.



There was no wood, and the dry ground was too hard to dig, so she covered with bodies with a cairn of rubble from the fallen city. White marble and black granite made a fitting tomb. She had never learned to write, so could not carve any kind of marker. Instead she left the violin at the head of the cairn. She took the small wooden flute for herself though. Her hands were cut and bleeding, her clothes torn and her heart broken but, because she had given her word, Amari turned her back on the grave and began her lonely walk back to the sunlight.









In the endless depths of the universe, there is a planet, locked in orbit around a swollen and ancient sun. On the surface of this world, half exists in perceptual light, the other in endless darkness. Near the border of night and day, there are three small kingdoms, known as the Free Kingdoms. And somewhere there, you may find a woman who rides a black horse. She does not trust easily, but if you earn her approval in any way, she may sing you her tale, her life's work and her life's pain:

The Ballad of Zephyr Stormchaser.







Yes, it’s true. I’ve still got a rather large gap between leaving the island and entering the Sithi lands. I’m still not entirely sure what happens, so I’ve left it blank for the moment. The main problem with this is that a couple of characters don’t get a satisfying ending. I’d like to think that Jack kills Michael, but I’m not yet sure how.









Aside from the great missing chunk, I need to pad out the description of the Sithi city a bit more, and give people a bit more of a reaction to things. I wanted to get an update up today, and I ran out of time this morning. I’d known how the story ends almost from the beginning, but Amari’s idea that the whole thing might have been a deliberate setup right from the start surprised me. I hadn’t considered that. I will also admit that the possessing great sword came from the D&D game first. As I was planning to write this, I was wondering what made the Red Prince lose control enough to kill his son, when suddenly I remembered a certain session and felt silly for not realising straight away






Anyway, usual questions apply: What did you think? Was it what you expected? Any glaring errors etc.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-28 11:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] almosthonest.livejournal.com
In addition to my email - the sword! That's awesome! I knew the game had to be a bit Alternative Universe to your story, but that tie-in is cool.

How come Jack gets to pan in Michael? What's so special about Jack that he's allowed to have all the fun? ;-)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-28 08:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ailsa-chan.livejournal.com
Heh. There was a moment of face palm as I was sat there thinking what in the dark Sithi realms could possible cause a man to change so drastically... Wait a minute!

I think Jack gets to pan in Michael because no one is expecting it so no one has made any attempts to counter it.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-28 04:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gunstarvixen.livejournal.com
well I like it! Reading things like this make me want to write something!

the only mistake I saw was "Was this was the church was afraid of?" i think the second was should have been a what ;)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-28 08:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ailsa-chan.livejournal.com
Well done for spotting the deliberate mistake that was only put in to test the reader. Erm, maybe not.

Glad you liked, can I tempt you with any more?

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-29 10:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gunstarvixen.livejournal.com
please! if you have a file with the whole thing I'd love to read it!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-29 06:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ailsa-chan.livejournal.com
Prefered method is via lj then you can leave me a comment with opinions on sections when you're done. All the entries are tagged under zephyr and numbered so you don't get lost.

I'll email you the file as well.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-28 07:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lunarkittenlj.livejournal.com
Well done for finishing it. So approx how many words did it end up to be?

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-28 08:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ailsa-chan.livejournal.com
Not sure yet. I won't know until I plug up the couple of large remaining gaps.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-02 05:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hotpork.livejournal.com
An "Army in full song" ...BATTLE BARDS ...argggghhhhhh!
Surely its 'magical trebuchets' that are used to defeat the Sithi :>)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-03 05:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] almosthonest.livejournal.com
I totally missed that. Yes! The GMstress approves of battle bards! It's so canon.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-02-04 04:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ailsa-chan.livejournal.com
The GM likes it, it's the players that seem to have this strange aversion to it :)

Profile

ailsa_chan: (Default)
ailsa_chan

August 2009

S M T W T F S
      1
2345 678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031     

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags